Behind The Story—Infertility

Look around—and if you’re my age, you probably know someone struggling with infertility….or perhaps you are the one facing that hurdle.  I don’t envy anyone in that spot.  It’s an emotional roller coaster, full of hopes and heartbreaks.  It is such an amazing gift to hold a beautiful baby in your arms.  I’ve never been filled with so much love as when I hold my daughter, so I can understand exactly why so many couples fight to have a child.  If you want a baby, there is nothing that can replace having (or adopting) a child—not a job, hobby, and definitely not money.

Today I am working on a story on infertility.  In the process of doing the story I met an amazing couple.  Lisa and Shawn are young, and after going through IVF they have a beautiful baby boy who is now 18 months old.  And believe me, this guy is a cutie.  You’ll see him on First at 4.  His smile and giggle light up the room.  What a blessing and I am so happy they were able to become parents, because you can see just how happy they are as a family.  But the other half of the equation involves the price tag of infertility treatments, and that’s what we are focusing on today.

Infertility treatments have come a long way, and keep advancing all the time.  I was very surprised to learn that about half of all couples struggling with infertility, do NOT seek treatment, because they are afraid of the costs.  Yes, it can get expensive, but it depends on what you have done.  Some people respond right away to drug therapy and never need to move on to more expensive treatments, like IVF.  In fact, the docs want couples to know that they typically start with simple, less expensive procedures first.  But, if you are one of those couples that needs IVF, it can be expensive, and insurance coverage appears to me to be a gamble.  Some insurance plans cover portions of infertility testing and treatment, others don’t.  I love how the American Society of Reproductive Medicine puts it…“Infertility is NOT an inconvenience; it is a disease of the reproductive system that impairs the body’s ability to perform the basic function of reproduction.“  Remember the days when insurance companies didn’t cover birth control pills.  Now, they do, because they have to.

I know everybody has a story when it comes to having a baby.  I have friends who got prego at the drop of a hat, while others responded to drugs right away, and others who will probably go through IVF.  And I have a good friend who knows she’ll likely never conceive a child (although never say never—miracle babies happen!) and she is moving forward with adoption.  She’ll make a great mom to a child who needs the love and attention she can give. 

So—feel free to share your story.  Did you have trouble?  What worked for you?  What do you see your friends going through?  I know there are so many aspects to this that I can’t get to them all, but I definitely welcome all your thoughts.

Ellie

First at 4

Oh—and Lisa did start a blog on infertility and I have a link to it.  Enjoy!

I became pregnant almost by blinking my eyes with my two sons. When my youngest was 2, we decided that we really waned just one more. We tried and tried and nothing. Very odd. Both myhusband and myself were tested to see if there were any obvious reasons why we had not conceived. They all came back fine. My OB said that it is possible that because of some history of issues with my fallopian tubes and thyroid cancer, that my body might not be able to handle another pregnancy. I made piece with this, which took a very long time and a lot of tears. I even sold our baby furniture.
Then this past March, I wasnt feeling well and took a pregnancy test. To my great surprise, and my husbands shock, we were pregnant again. I am 23 weeks right now and couldnt be more excited. I guess you have to never really give up hope. You just never know what could happen.
So, four years later we are expecting another little boy.
Never give up.

That’s wonderful news!  I am so happy for you.  Never say never, indeed.  :)  Thanks for offering your words of inspiration.  We appreciate it!

Ellie

Hi Ellie,

I first of all just wanted to say “Thank You” again for picking us for your story on infertility.  I know that alot of couples out there are so afraid to talk about their battle with infertility, but it is nothing to be afraid or ashamed about.  I like and appreciate the quote that you put up in your Blog post today about infertility ...“Infertility is NOT an inconvenience; it is a disease of the reproductive system that impairs the body’s ability to perform the basic function of reproduction.”  It doesn’t matter what type of problem he or she has it is still a disease and I think that is one thing that insurance companies and those looking at the state mandates need to look at and realize.  Trust us… if it was something we could fix then I know for a fact we would fix it on our own. 

After my first visit to Ohio Reproductive Medicine I knew I wasn’t alone.  The office was full of couples and there was not a single chair for us to sit in.  I was in aww over the amount of people that were there and experiencing the same or somewhat different issues that we were experiencing.  It is heart wrenching to think you could be pregnant and take a hpt and find it to be negative again and again.  Tears would roll down my cheeks several times a year as we went through the emotional roller coaster.  After having Cameron we knew that we were totally blessed by God.  He is truly an angel and a true gift and we see that and realize that everyday.  We thank God everyday that we can get up and see Cameron’s smiling face and end our day with a hug and kiss goodnight.  We knew that if we kept the FAITH and stayed POSITIVE that our dreams of becoming parents would come true and indeed they did and we couldn’t be happier.  If I could give a couple words of wisdom out there to couples going through infertility it would be this… “Don’t give up on your dream of becoming a parent”.  Stay strong, keep the FAITH and try your best to stay positive!!  I honestly can say that it was very hard for me to stay so positive after receiving a negative test all the time, but God gave me strength and eventually gave me a child and it was all worth it in the end!!

Thank you again Ellie for all you did to share our story.  We are so grateful and blessed to have had the chance to share it with everyone and well Cameron truly enjoyed meeting “Elwee”.

Many Blessings Always,
Lisa

http://lifewithinfertility-lisa.blogspot.com/

Good morning!  I have really enjoyed your story on infertility and seeing Lisa’s story.  My husband and I tried for 4 1/2 years and we both had surgery to correct medical conditions and finally we had our little boy, Daniel, in our arms in August of 2005.  Such a wonderful tearful journey but such tears of joy when we finally had him in our arms.  He is now almost 3 and we are hoping for one more but signs are there that my condition, endometriosis, is back.  Guess it’s back to our specialist in Cincinnati, Dr. Michael Scheiber, as soon as my insurance permits.  I really enjoyed hearing Lisa’s story of having Cameron.  It brought back wonderful memories of our journey.  Here’s hoping to one more.  Amy

My husband I made no efforts to get pregnant, but look how life works out!  We are now proud parents, who enjoy each moment, good, bad, screaming, and poopie.
Now that I am a Mom, people open up about their own experiences more often, and I was surprised to hear so many woman say they had experienced miscarriages and difficulty.  All of the women who I have talked to have gone onto conceive and carry healthy babies!  I hope this is encouraging to couples “trying” out there.
Good Luck, and here is to fertility!

Growing up, I hardly knew anyone who experienced issues with getting pregnant let alone miscarriages.  Well our journey began in September of 2002.  After many tests it was unexplained infertility.  In December of 2004 we were finally pregnant, but just a few days later found out it was not viable, it was a tubal.  Then just 4 short months later, another tubal. 

So we have been on this rollercoaster since September 2002.  I have come to terms that everything happens for a reason.  And that one day whether it be a biological child or through adoption, I will have a beautiful baby of my own. 

Many people don’t realize how hard it is really it to be happy for people who are dealing with infertility to watch the world around them and it seem like everyone is pregnant but them.

I have never had to deal with infertility. However my prayers and thoughts are with those who have. I have a very goof friend who has had 4 miscarriages in the past year. I am was so happy for her each time she told me that she was pregnant, but have cried with her each time she miscarried.

I don’t know what to say to her sometimes but I just listen to her and cry with her. And pray with her.

She is pregnant now, and has made it farther than ever, so we just wait and pray…

Thanks for bringing this subject up Ellie.

Thank you for brining light on infertility treatment. Unfortunately our insurance did not cover our IVF treatments nor many of our IUI treatments.  I believe it is very unfortunate as the cost is very high for IVF and also for consecutive IUI treatments. I hope one day insurance companies will view this less as “desire” and more as a “medical necessity”.  We were blessed to have our son through successful IVF treatments but our dream of having another child may never come true due to finances…

Thank you for bringing light to this subject. Unfortunately like many we had infertility battles for 2-years.  We had many failed IUI’s, two eptopics, and then finally one successful addition to our family through IVF. Unfortunately our insurance did not cover the procedures and the cost for infertility treatment is hard to cover even for two full-time working partners.  Hopefully one day benefits will see this more as a “medical necessity” rather then a “desire”.  Unfortuantely the cost will prevent us from expanding our family, but right now, I have my hands full with a 2-year old (and couldn’t be happier)!

http://sophisticatedlysavvy.blogspot.com/