Temper Tantrums

Temper Tantrums….how to deal!
by: Brenda Nixon
http://www.BrendaNixon.com

“My kid always throws tantrums” a mom tells me.
“How does he act?” I ask.
“He stomps his foot and whines about minding.”
“Oh that’s normal kid behavior; not a tantrum.” Then I explain that a true tantrum is a child loosing control with screaming, thrashing on the floor or running out of the room in a fit of rage. Generally speaking, it’s a hissy fit where he’s overwhelmed with strong emotions.  It’s important to distinguish the difference because the response to a tantrum is quite different than one to whining or disobedience.

“How do you prevent tantrums?” is a question I hear from moms across the country.

My prevention tips include:
·    Watch for triggers – observe and intercept the situation where your child is becoming agitated. Of course, children need to experience and learn to deal with minor frustration but, when you see that your child is not managing well and the emotions are mounting, try to change the activity or situation.
·    Teach the names of emotions – help your child become “emotionally literate” so he can use words rather than his body. Reading books about feelings to your child is an excellent way to introduce these important words and concepts.

“What do I do when my child has a meltdown?” is usually the next issue troubling moms.  I reassure parents that most self-respecting, independent kids are going to spin out of control once in a while. You’re a good mom even on those bad days. However, your response can tackle – or teach – the ugly behavior. My tantrum tackling tips include:
·    Ignore negative behavior; no eye contact or interaction with your child. Remember, for most people – including kids – its not fun to “perform” without an audience.
·    Model control and calmness. You are your child’s first and most influential teacher. How you act when angry or disappointed sends a powerful behavior lesson to your child.
Building stronger families through parent empowerment is Brenda Nixon’s passion and profession. She is the author of The Birth to Five Book: Confident Childrearing Right from the Start (Revell), and a contributing author to 24 books. Free parenting articles and discipline tips are at her website http://www.BrendaNixon.com.

Hang in there - if handled correctly - tantrums are a time-limited phase. :-) Ellie, thanks for asking me to share.

If anyone has a specific discipline question for me, post it here and I’ll check back in to see how I can answer.

I totally disagree with the “ignore negative behavior” advice that so many child “experts” tend to offer. Negative behavior should come with consequences and discipline. To ignore such behavior sends the message that if you’re behaving badly, so what? Nobody cares. This idea can bleed over into children’s young adulthood, but they’ll discover that law enforcement does not ignore negative behavior, but rather they punish it.

The Bible clearly states that children are born full of foolishness, but that the “rod of correction” will cure such behavior. A good spanking, given in the correct way, is the best cure for tantrums, and Dr. James Dobson agrees with me.

I was spanked as a child. It didn’t make me want to be violent and hit things. It made me want to behave.

yes i hear this one too that “How do you prevent tantrums?” is a question I hear from moms across the country. and its easy to control. I was spanked as a child. It didn’t make me want to be violent and hit things.