Too Taboo To Talk About?
When was the last time you were stuck in a real Foot in Your Mouth kind of situation?
I’m talking about gossip with girlfriends that takes a turn for the awkward, or an inappropriate moment with guys on the basketball court that makes someone feel a bit slighted. Or maybe you know someone who can’t help but express their opinion constantly in a way that just rubs you the wrong way. If you haven’t experienced this, you’re lucky. For the rest of us, it happens more often than we would like.
My last conversation was a while ago, over coffee and a croissant with an acquaintance. I gave out an opinion that was a little too blunt most likely, even though that was not the intention, and in return was met with a wide-eyed gaze and a dose of silence. All that was missing was the slightly dropped jaw. I proceeded to profusely apologize for the over sharing of my opinion and tried to explain my point of view, but as it would have it the moment had already happened. I tried to take a larger bite of croissant and turn the subject matter in a different direction.
I’m human, you’re human. These things will happen as much as we dislike them.
Gender Disappointment is one of those subjects that we dance nicely around and avoid completely because we find it difficult to talk about in mixed company. It’s reserved for those isolated conversations between you and your spouse or partner, maybe a good friend. Some people might even consider it taboo. But I think it’s an issue that’s important to talk about as we become parents.
On NBC 4 Today we’re starting a segment on Wednesday’s called “Getting Ready for Baby.” We’re sharing the latest advice and research on babies, toddlers, and parenting; because when we share in an open and honest environment I truly believe we can learn something. Today, we talked about gender disappointment among other subjects.
As many of you know, I’m expecting my first little one in May. And I have to admit; at first I was pretty nervous about having a boy! I come from a family of three girls. Even the dog and the cat were female. My poor dad!! The environment was thick with lots of drama, bedazzled pom pon outfits, and yelling fits over use of the “teen phone line.” Absolute chaos at times, but at least it was a craziness that I understand. Boys I do not. I’m fortunate that I have a friend in my neighborhood who shared her similar experience with me, the momentary nervous feelings she had when she found out she was having a boy several years ago She made me feel so much more confident about being a good mom to a little boy after sharing her experience. After calming my initial nerves not long after our “reveal” ultrasound and that conversation, I can now say I am so excited to have this little guy in my life. I know he is going to grow me in ways I can’t even imagine because everything about his childhood will be a brand new adventure for me.
I want to know about you… did you ever deal with gender disappointment when a new child came into your family? How did you deal with it? We found a good article on this issue that you will find here: http://www.justmommies.com/pregnancy/feelings-and-emotions/dealing-with-gender-disappointment. You can leave your comments here or email me a . I want to take on what may be considered by some a “taboo” subject and make people feel better!
We’ve seen a wide range of commentary on this subject already, just take a look at some of these thoughts from Facebook and Twitter:
From Kathy: I wanted a girl so badly. I thought for sure that is what I was going to have. I had girl names picked out and everything. Then came along a boy, I some what was disappointed. But now that he is almost grown. I must of been insane thinking I wanted a girl. He is and has been the joy of my life. Thank God I had a boy.
From Luann: Have the disappointment…......start another SUPPORT GROUP or get therapy. This issue angers me, I must say…..............GEEZ….......how about hoping for a healthy child or just being “THANKFUL” for this pregnancy if this true blessing is wanted at all!!!!
From Deborah: I have to say, I know this feeling - When I found out that I was pregnant - It was to be a girl, no thoughts ever crossed that I would have a boy. Due to complications within my pregnancy, we were able to determine the sex at 20 weeks and learned that it was a boy and not a cord in the way thing. Now I have to say at that moment there was a quick moment of disappointment as we wanted a girl, but that was quickly turned around instantly to know that we were going to have a healthy baby boy.
From Arthur: Let’s be serious… Be thankful you were able to have a child… Clearly something else is wrong to cause those feelings
From Leslie: We were told my 12 yo was going to be a girl twice..at 37 weeks..said boy! ;) funny - not sad/frustrated - happy 4 healthy baby
From Greg: We were so sure it was going to be a girl that we took both of our other boys to the 20 week ultrasound to share in this amazing family moment….only to see that we were clearly having boy #3. It was hard for both of us (and even one of the boys) to mask the disappointment and we were for sure bummed. I felt guilty about being disappointed and (my wife) was just sad for a couple days. We talked about it that night and agreed that we would give ourselves a couple days to “grieve” for lack of a better term, and then we would get excited about the new baby.
Wow! This is just a handful of the responses we received. It was a great conversation and we want to thank everyone who contributed their two cents. We’ll hope to bring you more topics like this in the weeks go come.
While we’re talking about sometimes edgy conversations, I wanted to share one more thing with you. Our 6 p.m. producer has started a quick segment called Links We Love here at NBC 4. I know that many of you are interested to find good information on the internet that will help out with the occasional awkward dinner conversation, or just a little something to make your feel wiser. Well, I have some links/blogs that I frequent lately that I want to share with you.
When I’m looking for the latest buzz on all-things-women:
http://www.allwomenstalk.com
Reviews of mom and family focused products:
http://amommystoryreviews.blogspot.com/
Humorous and honest takes on raising little ones:
http://notraisingbrats.blogspot.com/
Notes from the world of fashion (through the eyes of a Chicagoan—I am an IL girl):
http://secondcitystyle.typepad.com/
For a true up-close and personal culinary experience at new haunts and inside your kitchen: http://www.dishingitup-columbus.blogspot.com
Musings on random subjects throughout our culture, many with a consumer tech vibe: http://www.e-clecticism.com
If you have some knowledge from one of these blogs on hand, who knows? Maybe you won’t get stuck in that next faux pas. But I can’t guarantee it, of course. Because as I said before, we all are human.
Posted by on 03/09 at 05:19 PM-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments
Give Me A Break!!! Little self-indulgent aren’t we?? Maybe you should be a little more thankful and realize that other parents in Central Ohio would do anything to have a child, but are unable. After years of failure and thousands and thousands of dollars we aren’t able to have such a blessing.
I mean seriously get over your self… Please!!!
Posted by Give Me A Break on 03/10 at 03:01 PM-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Give Me A Break: A little angry, aren’t we?
Thousands and thousands of dollars might sound self-indulgent to me.
My point is: What you or I may perceive as indulgent is everyday to someone else.
It’s everyday for most couples to look forward to pregnancies, birth stories and families.
My husband and I are not able to have a biological child, either.
So I understand your pain, but I don’t understand your displaced anger.
It’s a mother or father who dreamed about one thing and were surprised by another.
I can understand that: I dreamed of having children and was heartbroken when I found out different.
Posted by rec30 on 03/10 at 03:43 PM-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Give Me A Break: I’m so sorry you’re taking this entry out of context. I am extremely grateful for this blessing and I do have people in my life/in my family who are currently battling through the same things as you have. Respectfully, I don’t think my initial feelings of being nervous and sharing that fact with other moms-to-be who might be struggling even more than I did, is being self-indulgent. And as for the topic itself, it is a valid concern to some parents. I received multiple emails from women and men who had these feelings and they have had a tough time expressing them, usually for fear of being judged. That is why it was really important for us to discuss this. I’m not saying one feeling is right or wrong here—just that a variety of feelings on this issue exist. One person’s experience with pregnancy is completely different from another’s. Thank you for taking the time to read about other perspectives.
Posted by Mikaela Hunt on 03/11 at 10:08 AM-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From a chemical web conference point of view, in photosynthesis a chemical reaction occurs. The backwards gotomeeting compatability of this reaction is open to discussion. A chemical reaction consists of forward and backward reactions in terms of online meetings. From “outside” view, there is a balance. This is knowledge of chemistry for well over 100 years and is referred to as the intertwined mass action law.
Statements of the mass action law are in respect to web conferencing in a serious way.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Page 1 of 1 pagesPlease post any comments below. Comments are currently moderated for users who are not registered members of the site. Registration is free. Click Here! to register and start posting comments in real time!
Next entry: It’s Madness I Tell You, Madness!
Previous entry: Inspired by Beat Boxing and Infomercials
